The Sweet Trap of Modern Love: How Unlawful Relationships Are Destroying Modesty in Today’s Society

In today’s society, “love” has become an overly romanticized and glorified concept. From films and literature to social media and everyday conversations, love is portrayed as a noble emotion, the ultimate expression of human longing. However, as a believer, when I look deeper, I see that this so-called love often leads our youth toward moral decay and spiritual destruction. That is why I say without hesitation:

“I hate love more than I hate rape.”

This statement shocks many—some ask, “Are you downplaying rape?” while others quickly label me a misogynist. But that is not the case at all. The truth is, I hate both. I absolutely condemn rape—it is a horrific, unforgivable crime where one person forcefully violates another and becomes deserving of severe punishment in the Hereafter. However, I also strongly oppose so-called romantic relationships that exist outside of marriage. Why? Because in such relationships, both the man and the woman willingly choose to disobey Allah by engaging in actions that lead to zina (fornication). Rape is a one-sided act of aggression, where only one person commits the sin and bears its consequences. In contrast, unlawful love involves mutual consent—both partners knowingly take part in the sin, making themselves equally accountable before Allah and equally deserving of punishment in the Hereafter. They are, in essence, walking hand-in-hand toward Hell by choice.

Love — Where the Path of Sin Begins

Modern romantic relationships usually begin with an exchange of glances, then words, followed by meetings, touch, and ultimately, physical intimacy. Islam commands us to avoid this path from the very beginning:

“Do not even go near zina. Indeed, it is ever an immorality and is evil as a way.”
— Surah Al-Isra (17:32)

This verse doesn’t just prohibit zina—it warns against anything that leads to it. And what leads to it? Unrestricted gazes, flirtatious conversations, secret meetings—all common in so-called “love.”

“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and guard their private parts…”
— Surah An-Nur (24:30)
“And tell the believing women to lower their gaze…”
— Surah An-Nur (24:31)

These verses are not just guidance; they are safeguards. Love, as it is often practiced today, tramples these safeguards and makes sin feel “sweet.”

The Reality: Love Destroys Honor

In the name of love, women are often objectified. The feminine identity becomes a commodity—marketed, displayed, consumed. Islam, however, gives women dignity, protection, and status. When I say, “Women are not commodities,” I am actually advocating for their honor, not restricting their freedom.

Love, Zina, and the Fire of Hell

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said:

“Every part of the human body commits zina: the eyes commit zina through glances, the tongue through speech, the heart desires, and the private parts confirm or deny it.”
— Sahih Muslim: Hadith 2657

This hadith directly applies to modern romantic relationships, where all forms of zina—visual, verbal, emotional, and physical—are often involved. That’s why I say: love as it is practiced today is not noble, it is a well-packaged form of spiritual suicide.

Is Love Forbidden?

No. Love is not haram. What is haram is the crossing of divine boundaries. Islam never forbids love; it only redirects it to the path of honor—marriage. As the Prophet ﷺ said:

“O young men! Whoever among you can afford to marry, let him do so. It helps lower the gaze and guard the private parts.”
— Sahih Bukhari: Hadith 5066

Thus, Islam does not reject love—it refines it, purifies it, and gives it meaning through commitment, modesty, and piety.

The Need for Self-Criticism

As Muslims, if we truly desire Allah’s pleasure, we must reevaluate our lifestyle and relationships. Our goal should not be worldly indulgence—it should be success in the Hereafter. Sadly, love has become the pathway to sin, destroying character, damaging reputations, and inviting divine anger.

Conclusion

When I say I hate love, I mean that I hate the version of love that leads to destruction—of modesty, of spirituality, of the soul. I do not speak against women—I speak for their protection. I call on men to stop objectifying women in the name of romance and desire. I call on society to return to the comprehensive guidance of Islam, where love is not lust, but a path to mercy and tranquility through marriage.

Let us leave behind the illusion of romanticized rebellion and return to the truth of divine discipline. Let us aim not for fleeting pleasure in this world, but for eternal joy in the Hereafter.